Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
