Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
