So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Welp...herpes.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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