We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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