3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
