My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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