then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
