It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
