Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
