The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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