plz talk dirty to me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
