how can u be prego again
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
