It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
