was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
