I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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