We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
