yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
