What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
