I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
