If i come over, it means nothing
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize