I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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