Sry I called you an 8
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
