Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
