I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
