i will never coherently bang her
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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