At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
