we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize