i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
