Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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