the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
