What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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