No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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