she woke up with a sticky ear
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
did i walk over a car last night?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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