there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
