So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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