Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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