he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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