Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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