..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
