I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
