My friends, they love my intelligence
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
