watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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