Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
