hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
