GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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