if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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