Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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