What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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