so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize