So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
