I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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