doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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