My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Randomize
