I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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