Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
