is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Dear god my vagina.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
