Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
