I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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