I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
