my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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