its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
